Amy

Growing up, she was told she was “too much”. In a three-year relationship, that familiar message became part of emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Her partner cheated and blamed her emotions for making him angry. He punched walls and grabbed her to stop her leaving.

When she disclosed what was happening, colleagues and HR offered support, but other people accused her of lying. When she returned to the relationship, she was called stupid and told she should have learned her lesson.

She tried to become calmer and easier to love, believing that needing less might make the relationship safer. He continued cheating and continued giving the same explanation: she had made him angry. Eventually, she recognised that his behaviour was not her fault.

She takes pride in her work and finds joy in making things, concerts, her cats and family. Having experienced judgement herself, she wants to offer understanding to others who are trying to heal. She no longer wants to make herself smaller to deserve care: “I'll never be too much for the right people.”