Alex

As a young woman, she entered a relationship with an older man who offered somewhere to live. Over four and a half years, she became increasingly isolated and financially unable to leave.

She describes being drawn back into addiction and pressured into drugs, alcohol and sex. Through therapy, she later recognised experiences within the relationship as rape. He cheated and lied, while people around him helped conceal what was happening. When she reacted to his behaviour, she was called crazy and accused of abusing him.

During a pregnancy and miscarriage, she experienced further intimidation rather than care. Finding better-paid work and a cheaper room eventually gave her a way out. She describes a further sexual assault after the breakup before she cut off contact.

Years later, nightmares remain. Speaking anonymously about what happened has still brought accusations that she is lying. She wishes people could understand why leaving took time and why she needs to speak about it now.

She wants to “heal out loud”. Creativity, sensitivity and kindness are important to her, even after being made to doubt herself. Telling her story is part of making room for what she experienced, rather than continuing to carry it in silence.